Mitch Goldstein | Coach Mitch | May 27th, 2007Coach Mitch’s REFLECTIONS™
The Answer Is: Rapport, Rapport, Rapport!
What is the Question?
How do you get information that people probably don’t want to give you? OR
What is the best people skill to learn and develop?OR
Why will motivated people deal with you but not others?
(go to Answer above)
Building a good rapport is so important because people deal with people that they like. If you are looking for rocket science, go elsewhere. I’m not that smart. I need to do things that I can understand. Getting people to like me, trust me, believe me, and follow me are very basic to conceive but complicated to achieve.
There are hundreds of little things that each of us notice that someone is doing. It all happens in such a minute amount of time, but we notice it. And, we give more weight to those little human items than we give to the words that someone says.
Example
The other day I asked for a promise from someone. The first reaction was for the person to look away for a split second, showing that telltale sign that betrays a person is uncomfortable and a potential lie is about to unfold. He then turned back to me and said, “Sure.” Now, it may happen that this person will do what he promised, but I’m not counting on it and I am making other plans – just in case.
That was the kind of tell-tale sign that I am speaking of.
You can give the best price but if the seller does not believe that you will perform then you are barking up the wrong tree. I wonder how that particular expression originated?
I strongly suggest that you go to the library and get some books on Neuro-linguistic Programming, NLP. Read these books carefully. Mastering NLP will be more helpful to you becoming successful than 10 gurus.
The reason is simple. A monkey can perform some technique that will put you in front of a motivated seller. Heck, they are all over the place. However, once you are face to face or on the telephone, then it is up to a thinking individual to take it from there.
Some people start by saying, “Let’s get down to business.” IMHO, that is the worst thing to say.
Understand emotion
I always say something nice to start off the conversation. I don’t care what it is about but I want the first few minutes to be social, pleasant and hopefully, special. I try very hard to put the motivated seller at ease. After all, isn’t it easier to deal with someone who is not 100% on guard, but rather, only 73% on their guard.
Example
I telephone an owner about a dilapidated house going up for tax sale.
“Hello, I’m looking for Mr. Seller?” (Big smile – it comes through the telephone.)
“That’s me.” (Usually, in a hesitant tone of voice.)
“Oh great. (Your first words are always a version of “Yes”, an affirmative, so that their first feeling is a positive. Your voice should end on an up note, indicating excitement, pleasantness.)
Mr. Seller, (Mention their name and mention it often. People like to hear their name. Do what people like.)
I’m a real estate speculator. (I give an explanation for why I am calling. This sets him at ease and also gets him excited because he now is anticipating something good regarding his real estate.)
My name is Mitchell, Mitchell Goldstein. (Finally, I give my name and I say it twice because people don’t remember names. I’m helping him to not be embarrassed later on when he will want to mention my name and maybe not remember. We will both understand that moment. Anticipating this, I will be ready and will quickly cover for him; saying something like, “Please call me Mitchell. And is it OK to call you Tom?” He will be thankful for my consideration, but he will still feel bad for having forgotten my name. Tom will remember that I was considerate, for not allowing him to be embarrassed, and this will add to my credibility.)
I saw your home at 123 Broadway. You do know that it being offered for sale in two weeks? (I did not say, “It’s being sold at tax auction.” That would embarrass him.)
“Yes, I know.” (Tax delinquents always know that they owe taxes. His tone of voice may indicate tension, resignation, anger, etc.)
“I can that tell that it was a lovely home.” OR
“It certainly is in a good location.” (I say something nice about the property. I have empowered the seller. This invariably invites Mr. Seller to say more about the property and/or the situation, which then leads to more questions, conversation and rapport building. I don’t get to price until later, and only AFTER I know his reasons for not paying the taxes, his level of motivation to sell AND what he is seeking to accomplish after the sale. To learn all this I must ask properly worded probing questions. )
This is enough to show that in just a few short seconds I have made a positive impression, given the seller power, made him feel at ease, shown interest in potentially solving his situation by buying the property, etc. Additionally, I am controlling the conversation. (Did I even need to say that?)
See Coach Mitch’s “Ridiculously Simple System…” ™ for details.
Successful Negotiating,
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