Murphy’s Real Estate Laws – Post 95

Coach Mitch’s REFLECTIONS

 

I came across this bit of reality on the internet. I hope you can laugh at the irony. Some of these items have happened to me – more than once.

Murphy’s Real Estate Laws

• That sweet little girl with the baby that you rented to, will start dating the mad motorcycle man from hell, … and several of his friends, … the very next week.

• Tenants have at least one relative get sick or die per month, so … they will just have to pay you later.

• If a tenant attempts to replace the washer in a faucet, plan on replacing the faucet; and perhaps all the plumbing in the building.

• Prospective tenants who make an appointment to see your rental across town, often get kidnapped on the way there… so there was just no way they could call you.

• Tenants only lock themselves out in the middle of the night… or on Christmas.

• When a furnace breaks in mid-winter, it is always the heat exchanger.

• At least one tenant’s check will be “lost in the mail” every month.

• Every lost pet will find its way to your rental.

• The hardware store, the bank, and the gas station closes five minutes before you get there.

• A tenant’s ability to see dirt and damage is much greater when they move in than when they move out.

• Your best tenants always get job transfers during the worst rental markets.

• Everything in your rentals will break 100 times faster than in your own home.

• The insurance inspector always shows up to take photos of the building as you are putting the evicted tenant’s possessions on the curb.

• Tenants always swear under oath that the window was broken when they moved in.

• You know something is drastically wrong when a tenant calls and says, “Hi, how are you?”

• If it exists, your tenant will try to flush it down the toilet.

• Proper disposal of chewing gum is in the carpet.

• If it is pouring rain, you can be sure the windows are open at one or more at your units.

• If you have any questions about anything, ask your tenants.

• When you need the rent money the most is exactly when the tenant’s car decides to die, or worse, they lose their job.

See Coach Mitch’s “Ridiculously Simple System…” ™ for details.

Don’t cry; Murphy has to sleep sometime,