To be successful in real estate investing the seller must believe in you. Post 194

Coach Mitch’s REFLECTIONS™


I was speaking with a student and some of the conversation might be of service to you. After hearing some of the student’s story, I tried to show how the bad memories can now be used for a good purpose.

CoachMitch: You’re absolutely an inspiration. Not many people have the ability to be as clear in their verbiage as you. You’ve got a terrific future in front of you.

Student: Thank you, Mitch, thank you.

I’ve just had a rough road. I’m looking forward to a turnaround.

I feel like I’ve been carrying a heavy bag. The more I talk about this [real estate investing] to you, the more I feel I can just off load this monster bag of problems off my back. I’m feeling that I can just walk away from it. My G-d; I’m picturing myself just throwing the back pack off my back and feeling a great relief. That’s basically where I’m at.

CoachMitch: I understand. I do. Remembering that feeling of having this monstrous load on your back is going to come in very, very handy.

A key is to be empathetic. Don’t forget, the people that you’re going to be talking too, are in significant danger of losing their home to the tax auction. And you’re there to help them out of that situation.

A very big part of your believability, a major part of your competence, why they [the owners] believe that you’re going to be able to help them, is that they think that you understand their pain. Your ability to transmit that feeling is a key to success.

Student: Yeah!

CoachMitch: You’re feeling some pain yourself and you should use it to your advantage.

Going into role-play mode: “Mrs. Smith, [imaginary tax delinquent owner] believe me, I understand your situation. I’ve been in situations like this myself, but I bounced back. I see that you’re a strong person and you’re going to bounce back also.”
“I was hurt on my job, disabled. I had no money. I had to find something completely different to do. I had to retrain myself. I’ve been there. I’ve had the creditors hounding and losing everything.”

Student: Right. [this was the student’s sad story]

CoachMitch: People appreciate that outlook. We’re not being devious in any way. We’re saying, “I understand how you feel. I felt the same way, but then, I got new information and I went forward.” That’s the Feel, Felt, Found sales technique. It works.

Student: Right. Sure.

CoachMitch: [back into role play mode] “There is a rainbow. There is a pot-of-gold at the end of that rainbow, and, Mrs. Smith, that’s what we are going to work to help you get.”

“When I asked you what you wanted to accomplish, you said, ‘To move to my sisters so I can start over.’ Well, that’s what we’re going to do, Mrs. Smith, we’re going to help you move to your sister so you can start over. Don’t you worry about it? You just let me handle everything.”

Now these people are putting their hope and their faith in you. And you have a responsibility to perform.

Student: Yeah.

CoachMitch: More than just a moral responsibility; you also have a legal responsibility to do what you’ve said you’re going to do.

Student: Right.

CoachMitch: The big thing is that they believe in you. You are this almost Superman like character. It’s very empowering.

Student: Yeah. I see that this can happen. [being successful at real estate investing]

Right now I’m trying to gather my thoughts, to put things together. It’s a turning point in my life. I can do this. I’m really feeling relief. I can’t express it better. I’m feeling relief.

Wow! Imagine taking the load off the back of a tax delinquent. It is gratifying.

I then started giving instructions.

I asked the student to look up their states’ law regarding tax delinquency.

CoachMitch: Instead of giving you the section of law, I want you to look for it. I want to test some of your analytical abilities. Email to me the sections of law that you think appropriate before you start reading so I can make sure you’ve got the correct material.

Student: OK.

End of conversation.


What I learned

The big take-a-way is that we must use our motivations wisely. Instead of drowning in sorrow, this student chose to channel his energy into finding the right mentor for him. I’m honored that he chose me.

Think about that.

Someone chooses to model themselves after you. It is the highest compliment and an awesome responsibility.

The conversation with this student hopefully illustrates how we can use our experiences to our benefit and to also benefit others, because we are actually helping the tax delinquent when no one else is.

Some of the folks I speak with don’t believe that they can be effective salespersons because they just don’t have “it.”

Rather, we must understand the full import of our experiences and translate these internalized memories well so we are believed that we “know how they feel.”

By giving a bit of our own relevant history, we gain credibility in the eyes of the tax delinquent. In addition, the tax delinquent does not think that they are as bad off; in fact, they are hopeful because they just heard a sad tale from the very person who might help them. They also don’t feel as stupid, because they just heard how someone else also did something stupid – and came back to financial health.

A key is telling some relevant history and telling it well. Please do not put your sob story  up against theirs unless you can make them cry.

To be clear – the incidental details of what happened to you is not what you are trying to illustrate. Rather, it is important to show how devastated you were by this occurrence – that you overcame the situation and now you are in a position to help others.

The story of the physical or financial toll should be graphic but short. Emphasize the emotional roller coaster you had to battle. Dwell on the emotional angst that you suffered. Recall that recovery was very difficult but that, in the end, you triumphed over all.

Later, the tax delinquent may remember some detail of your experience, but he will immerse himself in the memory of your pain, for it eases his own pain.

Your poignant tale will demonstrate how unfair life can be, a circumstance the tax delinquent will understand and empathize with. You have been effective if the tax delinquent now feels sorry for you.

The pain you felt is real. However, it does not matter if the pain was created by a bully, by a boss, by a bank or – by the tax collector. The way you portray the anguish you felt is what will make that tax delinquent owner believe that you understand their pain, and that believability translates directly into their acceptance that you will work hard to help them move on and begin to recover.

Your empathy works because it is real, just like the tax delinquents anguish over the plight they are in.
Your display of real emotion is a reason why the tax delinquent will choose you to give that property to, rather than to someone else.

Remember the pain and do good.

See Coach Mitch’s “Ridiculously Simple System…” ™ for details.

Mitchell Goldstein - Coach Mitch
518-439-6100 until midnight EST


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