Murphy’s Real Estate Laws – Post 95



I came across this bit of reality on the internet. I hope you can laugh at the irony. Some of these items have happened to me – more than once.

Murphy’s Real Estate Laws

  • That sweet little girl with the baby that you rented to, will start dating the mad motorcycle man from hell, … and several of his friends, … the very next week.
  • Tenants have at least one relative get sick or die per month, so … they will just have to pay you later.
  • If a tenant attempts to replace the washer in a faucet, plan on replacing the faucet; and perhaps all the plumbing in the building.
  • Prospective tenants who make an appointment to see your rental across town, often get kidnapped on the way there… so there was just no way they could call you.
  • Tenants only lock themselves out in the middle of the night… or on Christmas.
  • When a furnace breaks in mid-winter, it is always the heat exchanger.
  • At least one tenant’s check will be “lost in the mail” every month.
  • Every lost pet will find its way to your rental.
  • The hardware store, the bank, and the gas station closes five minutes before you get there.
  • A tenant’s ability to see dirt and damage is much greater when they move in than when they move out.
  • Your best tenants always get job transfers during the worst rental markets.
  • Everything in your rentals will break 100 times faster than in your own home.
  • The insurance inspector always shows up to take photos of the building as you are putting the evicted tenant’s possessions on the curb.
  • Tenants always swear under oath that the window was broken when they moved in.
  • You know something is drastically wrong when a tenant calls and says, “Hi, how are you?”
  • If it exists, your tenant will try to flush it down the toilet.
  • Proper disposal of chewing gum is in the carpet.
  • If it is pouring rain, you can be sure the windows are open at one or more at your units.
  • If you have any questions about anything, ask your tenants.
  • When you need the rent money the most is exactly when the tenant’s car decides to die, or worse, they lose their job.

See Coach Mitch’s “Ridiculously Simple System…” ™ for details.

Don’t cry; Murphy has to sleep sometime,

Mitchell Goldstein - Coach Mitch
518-439-6100 until midnight EST

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